125. Does It Hurt Enough Yet?

In this episode, I share a moment from my years working in addiction medicine that has stayed with me for more than a decade.

It led to a question that applies just as much to migraine healing as it does to any other kind of suffering: does it hurt enough yet?

I talk about what it means to stop waiting for the next medication, the next doctor, or the next promise to save you, and instead begin looking honestly at what your body has been trying to tell you all along.

This is a deeper conversation about responsibility, power, and what real healing actually asks of us.

If you’re ready to address the root drivers of your migraines, you can book a free consultation at the link below:

https://www.drlesliecisar.com/apply

Free Training: 5 Proven Steps to Being Migraine Free (Even if you think you've already tried everything.)

https://www.drlesliecisar.com/5SHMN

Connect with us:

Website: https://www.drlesliecisar.com/

Free Facebook Group: Healing Migraines Naturally, with Leslie Cisar, ND

Ready to try something radically different that actually works? Read more about my approach here: https://www.drlesliecisar.com/map

In health,
Dr. Leslie Cisar

Episode Transcript

hi there
welcome to the Healing Migraines Naturally podcast
I'm your host Doctor Leslie Caesar
and I'm a licensed naturopathic physician
former chronic migraine sufferer
and I've dedicated my life to helping other women
with migraines rediscover a migraine free life
so today on the podcast
I wanna take you back to a moment in time
a moment in my life more than a decade ago
it's a Friday night
and I'm working a shift at an impatient
drug and alcohol rehab facility
a naturopathic one
this is a whole another podcast
when I worked in addiction medicine
and I'm walking down the hall toward the front desk
when oh boy
do I hear it
there's a new patient up there
a 24 year old male about six feet tall
meth and heroin addict and he is furious
he doesn't need any of this
the roommate situation is unacceptable
the rules are ridiculous
certainly this is the uh
PG version of what he was saying
you know everything was somebody else's fault
he's ranting he's pacing
he's burning through his anger
like he's got an unlimited supply of it
and behind the front desk
was one of our behavioral health techs
a man named John
John was in his 60s an alcoholic in recovery
he has permanent tremors in his hands
from decades of drinking
so if you walked past him on the street
you might think he was frail
but he's not
John has lived through things that would
break most people and fortunately
something in him came out the other side
harder and quieter and more solid than before
so John is not alarmed by what he's watching
he doesn't try to intervene
he just sits back in his chair and watches and waits
and when the young man finally burns himself out
when there's nothing left to rage against
and he's just standing there
John takes one long look at him and says
does it hurt enough yet
John was not asking about physical pain
he was asking
have you hit the moment
where you're willing to face yourself
because that young man
didn't walk through the door of that rehab facility
because somebody reasoned with him
he walked through the door
because his life had fallen apart completely
the pain got bad enough
that the only option left was this
checking in admitting it and facing it
and of course
the anger wasn't really about the roommate or the rules
or us the anger was a shield
he didn't want to reckon with the fact
that he had made a total mess
of his life
that the people he'd hurt
the opportunities he'd thrown away
the years he'd lost all of that was his
his choices his consequences
that is a terrible terrible thing to have to face
so instead he was mad at the staff
and I've thought about that moment so many times
since I left addiction medicine
since that shift ended
and now that
I've been working with women with migraines
for nine years now
I think about it a lot as well
because I see the same dynamic
the surface is different
but it's the same thing underneath
you know
nothing makes people matter
than hearing that migraines
are not a chronic condition
and I understand why
if migraines are chronic if they're genetic
if they're simply
the migraine brain that you were born with
then there's absolutely nothing you can do about them
which also means there's absolutely no responsibility
you don't have to look at your eating habits
or your sleep habits
or the way that you handle stress or your past
or the patterns you've been running for 20 years
you just have a condition
you get your medications you do your best
you're a victim of your biology
your genes
your genetics are bad luck
but you're the one that always has to cancel
you're the mom who couldn't make it
you're the employee you had to call in again
you're the one
building your whole life around something
that you've been told you just have to live with
and that is a very comfortable place to stay
I had a patient
we were four weeks into working together
and she stopped mid session
and she said to me
I thought I was just gonna get rid of the migraines
I didn't think I'd have to take a look at my whole life
that is what the reckoning sounds like when it arrives
not in theory in real life
four weeks in
when someone finally sees what's actually on the table
you know you see it on Instagram all the time
the young woman in the middle of a migraine flare
ice cap on her head
the eye mask on in the dark room with a sad face
and these reels get millions of views
because every woman with migraines watching it
recognizes themselves in it
that's me somebody finally gets it
but here's what that reel is also saying
without saying it
you know this is just your life now
you've got a migraine brain
there's nothing you can do about it
the ice cap is the best it gets
you know I run a Facebook ad and it says
healing migraines naturally
and that ad gets a lot of angry emojis
not because the ad is offensive haha
but it's threatening
because it implies that migraines can be healed
which means that
they're not just something that's happening to you
which means there's something that could change
which means
there's something that you might need to look at
and some people
they're not ready for that
I totally get it
so they hit the angry emoji and they scroll past
that angry emoji is the scroll past version of ranting
at John's front desk you know
I've gotten I've gotten letters
actual letters mailed to me from people
telling me that I'm hurting people by doing this work
that I'm giving false hope
that I should stop
and those letters are not about protecting
or helping migraine sufferers
they're protecting a belief system
because if I'm right
if migraines can be healed
then the reckoning is real
and that is a very uncomfortable thing
to have to sit with
the ones who click on the ad
the ones like you
that are listening to this podcast that also says
healing migraines naturally
the ones that click on that ad
instead of hitting the angry emoji
those are the women for whom it hurts enough
and here's what I want you to understand
if migraines are a signal
if your body is telling you that something is off
that it doesn't have what it needs to function well
then yes
there is a piece of responsibility there
a small but real piece
now I know you didn't do this on purpose
I was right there with you
you know you didn't know
nobody told you
life happens habits accumulate
and here you are I
I was there too
I'm not saying you gave yourself migraines
but in order to heal
in order to heal there has to be a world
in which something can be corrected
you know you missed the Mark somewhere
and the good news is
you are the one that gets to correct it
the chronic diagnosis takes away the blame
but it also takes the agency away too
responsibility is not a punishment
it's the door to power
and that door can open
but only if the pain stays loud enough
to keep you walking towards it
think about that young man
through the door of that rehab facility
not reason not good advice pain
his life had fallen apart so completely
that there was nowhere else to go
the pain walked him through the door
now imagine he'd found a better dealer instead
something that took the edge off
not enough to fix anything
not enough to fix his all
you know the complete wreck of his life
but enough to make it bearable
he never would have walked through that door
the pressure would have been gone
and the reckoning would have been postponed
indefinitely
and that's what that's what a medication can do
let's let's get real here for a moment
not because it's bad but because relief
any relief
can answer John's question in the wrong direction
and you know
so the migraines get better
with the migraine medication
the loudest alarm gets quieted and quietly
without anyone marking the moment
John's question gets answered
not anymore
but look what's still there
the fatigue the brain fog
the sleep
that just doesn't quite carry you through the night
the heartburn the PMS that's just as bad as it ever was
the feet that fall asleep
the nose that runs all the time
the headaches are lighter sure
but the rest of it it's still there
the medication as we
all know doesn't fix anything
it just turned the volume down
on the symptom that was screaming the loudest
but you're still bleeding on the battlefield
and now comfortable enough to stop asking questions
most people do exactly that
and here's what I want to tell you
and I want you to hear this clearly
you have the ability to do this right now
in the depths of it
you have the ability
I know it seems like you cannot change a single thing
that
there isn't one thing that you could do differently
because you're hurting too much
you're too overwhelmed trust me
I've shared some of my own personal stories around this
on this podcast
but let me assure you
you can do this
I know you don't believe it
but I know it's true because I've watched what happens
and I have also watched
and this is the part that breaks my heart
what happens when they decide to wait
I can't tell you how many free consultation calls
I've had over the years
with women who are suffering
and I lay it out for them
what their life could look like
what it would actually take
to stop having chronic migraines
and they hear it
and then they say well
you know my doctor wants me to try Botox first
or Aimavig or Nertec
so if that doesn't work I'll get back to you
and I understand I do
it's a new medication there's hope
the doctor's on board the insurance will approve it
of course they want to try it
but they're also in my Facebook group
and these women I see them posting year after year
I spoke with some of them five years ago
they're still talking about their chronic migraines
and we could have solved this problem
three months after that call
this is what waiting costs
not 3 months 5 years
medication is not going to do the deeper work
it never was going to we all know that
every time you hand the window over
to the next prescription after Botox
after Amavig after whatever comes next
the years go by
and you're the one who's still in the dark room
still cancelling still the mom that couldn't make it
please stop waiting for the medication to fail
before you're willing to ask the real question
the door is open now walk through it
you know John's question
it wasn't cruel it was one of the most honest things
anyone in that room could have said to that young man
does it hurt enough yet
is the question that opens the door
it's not an accusation it's an invitation
and I'm asking you the same question
I'm asking you this question
at the end of Migraine Awareness Month June 2026
I've dedicated this whole month
to try to bring real awareness
to women with chronic migraine
so I'm asking you this question
not because I want you to suffer
but because I know what becomes possible
the moment your answer changes
the door is open walk through it
because here's what I've Learned
working with women who actually heal
it's never just the migraines
real healing means looking at every aspect of your life
that's generating suffering
the food the sleep
the stress the relationships
the patterns you've been running so long
you don't even see them anymore
all of it that's what's on the other side of this door
and it is so worth it
so as we round out Migraine Awareness Month 2026
if you've enjoyed this series on the podcast
please give us a like give us a subscribe
give us a review
share it with another woman who's suffering
help us get the word out
because we're trying to bring this awareness
not just in June
not just during Migraine Awareness Month
but all year long
but all year long
and finally if you're living with chronic migraines
and you're ready to understand
what's actually driving them
and what you can do about it
I'd love to talk with you
I offer a free consultation call
the link is in the description
and we'll talk about your migraines
and any other health conditions you have
and we'll put together a game plan
to get you feeling better
it's going to be the best 30
minutes you've spent on your health
in a long time so the link is in the description
and I look forward to talking
with you soon and thanks again for joining me
this Migraine Awareness Month
they come every year
and every year I'm here trying to get this message out
so thanks so much we'll see you on the next one